I've read through your research paper and it has an overall good focus within it and brings a small but strong progression within the point you wish to speak out. You seem to be aware of what you need to work on such as the depth in analysis. Other than that, the only things you may need to work on is the expansion and depth of the analysis being focused in the body paragraphs and conclusion along with improvement of your thesis statement.
Thank you for your time,
Francis Lao
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